Here’s a list of first lines from books, only ones that I have read, that are by far my top ten favorite. (So far.)
Thanks to the encouragement from a programer/writer friend I bought a mechanical keyboard. Specifically a Das Keyboard Model S Professional Click Pressure Point Mechanical Keyboard which I would recommend to anyone. It’s expensive, and you might be thinking that a keyboard isn’t worth that much. I thought the same thing, it is an extravagant purchase but one I didn’t buy lightly.
Most of the time I write on my laptop, that’s the productivity machine while my desktop, which I’m writing this blogpost on I call my distraction machine. It has all my Steam games, my images, my photos, my music, my videos, and everything that isn’t writing. With my laptop I don’t have anything but writing and maybe some wallpaper on it. The only other files on it are for research for my writing, Nothing to distract me.
This keyboard though, it makes me want to write more on my desktop. I mean, it makes sense. A full keyboard, a large monitor, it seems like it would be perfect for writing. So I figured I would try to write on here and learn to ignore the distractions. I may not always be able to keep it separate so I might as well train myself to not be distracted.
It has proven difficult thanks to the Summer Steam Sale that happened about two weeks ago. I bought Borderlands 2 which I avoided buying on Xbox 360 thanks to both Skyrim occupying my attention for three years and reapplying for college around the time that it came out.
So what is a mechanical keyboard? Well, I don’t know about everyone else who reads this or how new the modern non-mechanical keyboards are but most of them don’t have that clickity clack noise you get from old keyboards during the 1980s and 1990s. From what I gathered, in the 90s keyboard manufacturers started using rubber dome switches. That is what connect the key you press to the circuitry that produces the letter you are pressing. This was cheaper than mechanical keys due to easier production. Cheaper products mean more sales and more profit.
Oh man though, it just does not feel the same. Instead that rubber membrane to connect the key to the circuitry that sends what you’ve pressed to your computer mechanical keyboards use physical switches. in order to produce the key you want you have to fully press the key. This leads to that audible sound you remember from old movies or from when you were younger depending on your age. I’ve read that it also makes your typing more accurate but I am not sure about that yet. It’s only been about a week.
I will say I can type much faster with this. I don’t know if it’s just because I like the feel of a mechanical keyboard, a memory sense from the computers I had when I was younger or if it’s just something that comes along with using a mechanical keyboard.
All I know is that typing on it is much more satisfying than any other keyboard I’ve used or the one on my laptop. I actively want to write more because of this keyboard. Hell, I only wrote this blog post so I could use the keyboard more. I fully support your decision to treat yourself to a mechanical keyboard, though I am not responsible for your financial mismanagement.
I think it was Neil Gaiman who recommended it on his blog years ago, but I was going through my wishlist on Amazon when I came across this book.
A used copy wasn’t very much. Not the 1.95 that appears on the cover but something like 3 or 4 dollar. I started browsing through early this morning and decided to share some gems with you. Warning, some of them are indeed, as the title says, vulgar but in a strange archaic way. Some of them are still kind of gross.
Apple Dumplin Shop – a woman’s bosom
Banbury story of a cock and a bull – a round about, nonsensical story.
Barrel Fever – he died of barrel fever; he killed himself drinking.
Cackling Farts – Eggs.
Covey – A collection of whores. What a fine covey here is, if the devil would but throw his net!
Death’s head upon a mop stick – A poor miserable, emaciated fellow.
Dicked in the nob – Silly. Crazed.
Eternity Box – Coffin.
To Flash the Hash – To vomit.
Frenchified – Infected with the venereal disease. (Even in the 18th Century France was the butt of jokes.)
Gap Stopper – A whoremaster. (So many of these words are about prostitution in some way. I haven’t even touch the precipice of how many words there are about whores.
Hobberdehoy – Half a man and a half a boy; a lad between both.
Jerrycummumble – To shake, towzle, or tumble about.
Indorser – A sodomite.
King’s Pictures – Coin, money.
Laced Mutton – A prostitute. (That one is especially vulgar.)
Line of the Old Author – A dram of brandy.
Member Mug – A chamber pot.
Nimgimmer – A physician or surgeon, particularly those who cured venereal disease.
Occupy – To occupy a woman; to have carnal knowledge of her.
I think that’s enough. Going through this now I am getting a theme of 18th century England slang. It involved a lot of words for having sex, prostitutes, brothels and venereal disease. I mean what I posted here was just me going in alphabetical order randomly picking words by placing my finger on the page, and I still got words along the sex with prostitutes and spread of diseases theme. Maybe P – Z is just filled with words about how happy they are in 18th Century England, but I doubt it.
Taking a break from thesis research to do a little bit of blogging. Not about pop culture this time but just something that’s been on my mind.
Part of the reason why I love writing so much is the clear connection between my thoughts and my hands that type them. Speaking for me is entirely different. I find myself having a disconnect between my thoughts and my speech quite often. It’s like the pathway from my brain to my mouth is the Oregon trail, and along the way, words die-off from dysentery. This will leads to situations where I will be unable to communicate what I was just thinking properly with sentences that quite frankly are wrong, faulty, or just jumbled enough to be nonsensical. I have to record to memory the faces my friends make when I do talk like this. Sometimes this has left me feeling hesitant to communicate through a speech at all.
Maybe this is leftover from the speech impediment I had as a baby? As a baby I had a lot of ear infections and as you know babies learn to speak from hearing other people do it. Since I couldn’t hear I didn’t learn to speak properly and had to go to special speech classes for preschool as well as speech classes during regular school hours during elementary school.
I don’t feel alone with this idea, though I do think the fact that it has left me feeling hesitant to communicate is a character flaw I need work on, I know other people can get this feeling as well. It’s good to take something you find to be a flaw in yourself and inject humor into it. My friend Dan and I have come up with a cut off to these kinds of situations where we just can’t get the words out. One of us will be talking and the person speaking can already tell so we’ll cut off and just simply say “words” as in there are some words that go here but I can’t seem to get it out, fill in the blank. I think it came about with talking about that scene in Hamlet where Polonius asks him what he’s reading, and Hamlet responds “Words, Words, Words” but I might be mistaken.
I urge anyone who can’t get a thought to come out of your mouth correctly to just say “words” and not want to laugh or maybe it’s just one of those things that only the friends that came up with it can enjoy. It definitely helps me deal with the idea of struggling with communication. I mean, you can’t just write all the time. Words were also meant to be spoken.